Positivity in a bottle

The month of May marks the start of #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth and I wanted to share two personal experiences. One being the lost of two friends and the second being how I’ve slowly dealt with a low self-esteem growing up.

I have friends and relatives who are dealing with depression and anxiety and witnessed that it can be hard when you don’t know how to deal with it since it seems overwhelming. I lost two of my closest friends to suicide and depression played a role in it. Till this day its hard for me to even think that I’ve lost the most happiest souls to it because their lives were what I aspired to live at some point. People who were constantly open, had positive vibes, never complained and also just brought forth happy energies to the atmosphere so losing them to a mental illness made me hurt. I feel like they on vacay somewhere so speaking in the past tense about them feels weird and untrue at times I think ‘it’s impossible’. How does depression make the happiest people in the world so sad and angry. So I thought, maybe the happiness was a bit too much (if that even makes sense) you cannot get as happy as that or can you? Were they walking around with polka faces and pulling a front because they were afraid that people saw they sadness, the hurt, the overwhelming pain, maybe even the pressure and everything they were going through?

I think being someone close to people like that made me realise how it’s important to play a vital role in somehow comforting, supporting, pushing and also just encouraging them to be the best they can be. Also, to assure them that they’ve done good so far and heading in the right path. If anything I can go about the edges of the world for them but what I’ve realised is that they have to do the motivating themselves. I can do or say all things positive but what are they feeding to themselves when they’re faced with all those emotions.

For me, dealing with low self-esteem growing up has forced me to become a woman who has internal conversations with herself to let her know that I don’t have to be like the next being. I have to speak constant positivity and forcefully allow only what makes me happy and not tolerate anything else so that I keep going. Life is much harder when you’re surrounded by the people that love you and support you and find that they keep pushing you to be your best or they are even proud of what you’ve become but somehow you still get a sense of not being okay (Hey! It’s okay to not be ‘okay’ but you know whats more fun? Being happy) try be happy with your imperfections and happy being you. No one goes through life not feeling down and out so you’re not any different. Cry if you must, have intimate conversations with yourself, get mad and slowly laugh about it because you’ve realised how far you’ve come and that it’s all going to be fine in the end.

Keep pushing hun, you’re almost there!

1. Make sure your harshest critic is not the one in your head!

2. Commit yourself to positive self-talk.

3. Respond in a kind and loving way to yourself.

4. Devote your happiness to your inner self.

5. You are the flow, stop thinking you have to go with it.

6. Get out of the race you’ve consumed yourself to be in and proceed to win your way!

Extra tip: let your self love only accommodate positivity and nothing else