Very seldom does life give us the opportunity to press pause. Slowing down, taking time out and finding peace in doing so has always been a struggle for me and even in planning to give it a try, I would lose the consistently in it or I’d rather than give up attempting it before even trying. One foot in, one foot out. I’ve been practicing positive self-talk of late and the more I speak with myself, the more I learn and grow. I’ve always had difficulty communicating and would let things build until it pressurized and exploded in unhealthy ways. I am in a space of trying to figure out all the emotions I go through and how I can manage them. Learning to self-regulate as an adult isn’t easy neither is it straight-forward but it really has helped me in my day-to-day life.
There’s a Youtuber I adore, Sophia Chang and in her recent video ‘A Peaceful Morning, Q&A: Living alone, relationships, insecurities’, she highlights how battling with Imposter Syndrome is not easy and I’ve never related more. I am my harshest critic and find 1000 reasons why I am not worthy enough. I randomly talk myself down and sometimes find moments where I actually believe it. And than there’s this awkward moment or space in that where I actually sit down and remind myself that I’ve done so well and I need to keep going with it. That I’ve leveled up too much to let anyone or anything bring that negative, down-playing that shouldn’t exist in me.
This down-playing side I’m fighting against is a “me” I’m willing to go into war with because I know, I can feel it. It’s not me. If you’re religious like that, you should read Isaiah 41:10, and my take on life changes completely every time after reading this verse. How does God see this greatness in me? He says I’m perfect just the way I am so why do I battle with myself when the creator himself sees all this greatness within me? Ask yourself… what makes me happy? what am I passionate about? am I a good person? There’s nothing else that matters more in this life than for you to be truly at peace with yourself. I needed that. It reminds me of a piece from the recent book I finished by Yvonne Orji, BamboozledbyJesus “God doesn’t do the bare minimum with lives, He does the exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond”.
The point? In the midst of anything or whatever you’re going through, this is a reminder that it’s okay to take time out. It would be great to ‘press pause’ and life just did exactly that, paused. BUT the best control we have so far is trying to place that pause, take time out moments in the midst of living. Life can be overwhelming sometimes, so give yourself a time out. It’s okay to do so. Things honestly get better with time, slow and steady as I always say.
That’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.