Making Friends in Your Adulthood

And just like opening up your wardrobe and thinking ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’, feeling hopeless and confused, making friends can be just as tricky. Well, in my world of course. I’ve been wanting to write this post for over a year or two but I held back mainly because of…being judged and maybe embarrassment. I have always felt ashamed of not having a lot of friends (especially female friends). I’ve felt like it would make me seem uncool and weird if I didn’t have a ‘girl gang’. It’s a little scary to admit that I don’t really have many friends because I feel like there is such a pressure among people and especially women to have a super close union or friend group.

I think going out to grab a coffee at a Starbucks and seeing a ‘girl gang’ situation makes me feel worn out…actually, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me that I can’t attract people in the same way and keep a hold of my friendships as well. I wanted to lay it all on the table. I’ve been thinking that even though I feel like I’m an anomaly, I surely can’t be the only person who feels this way. I read in an article on the Oprah Daily that, “things were so much easier when we were kids, including making friends” which is true. Another section of the article stood out the most for me, noting that,

beyond having a close-knit group of people to vent about your problems with, or to accompany you on your next girls trips, maintaining human, interpersonal relationships can significantly impact your physical and mental health.

Whew, that hit home. I think if you find the right tribe, male or female then you’ve got yourself good friends. I for one definitely need more time before I can confidently put myself out there to meeting and getting to know new individuals especially making new friends. By the way, I’ve got a good knit of people who are my friends, if you’re reading this you know who you are. Hopefully this can be comforting to anyone else without many friends or no friends at all. I mean, protecting your peace and sanity is more important.

Let me know what you think. Are you someone who has a big group of friends and can’t imagine not having them around? Or are you in the same space I am in. And are you in a period of your life right now where you feel like you need to be making friends?

S T A Y H A U T